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The Leadership Mirror
How to See What Others See
Ikechukwu Okoh
August 11, 2025
In partnership with
THE LEADERSHIP PULSE
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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
After a meeting, years ago, I pulled aside a colleague who was heading a critical department in the Health Ministry.
“John, do you realise you frown when people are giving updates?” I asked.
He was shocked.
He thought he looked serious and focused, but to people, he looked disapproving and disengaged.
That day, he learned a humbling leadership truth:
It’s not what you think you’re projecting that matters. It’s what people are perceiving.
Leaders carry a mirror, but it’s often facing the wrong way.
You see your intentions.
Your team sees your impact.
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Strategy Deep Dive: Leading With the Right Reflection
Self-awareness isn’t about guessing how you come across.
It’s about actively seeking the truth — even when it’s uncomfortable.
This is why these matters:
Perception shapes trust.
Trust shapes influence.
Influence shapes results.
The Leadership Mirror Framework
1. Clean the Glass (Self-Check)
Set aside time each week to reflect on your leadership behaviours.
Ask yourself:
If I were in their shoes, how would I interpret my actions this week?
2. Invite Honest Reflection (Ask Others)
Create safe channels for feedback from peers, team members, and mentors.
Ask:
What’s one thing I do well that I might not notice, and one thing I do that might be holding me back?
3. Compare Intention vs. Perception
Where they match - double down.
Where they differ - investigate and adjust.
4. Adjust the Lighting (Context Matters)
Sometimes it’s not your behaviour, it’s the environment.
Stress, unclear goals, or organisational culture can distort perception.
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Ikechukwu’s Journal
The longer I lead, the more I realise this:
Your team is constantly reading you, even when you’re not speaking.
Your tone, your presence, your expressions — they all send messages.
And the most effective leaders don’t just hope those messages are positive.
They check, adjust, and align
What to do this week:
Ask three people: “What’s one thing I do that strengthens the team, and one thing that might weaken it?”
Note any surprises.
Make one visible change based on what you learn.
If this edition resonates with you, forward it to another leader.
Better yet, please share it with your team and have the conversation together
And don’t forget, tomorrow, Tuesday, a new episode of Fireplace Conversations will be live at 8 AM.
This episode is titled The Hidden Cost of Leadership
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Ikechukwu Okoh
Founder of Leadership Pulse
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