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The Burden of the Torch
Why Leadership Can't Be a Solitary Walk
Ikechukwu Okoh
September 01, 2025
THE LEADERSHIP PULSE
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The Loneliness of Leadership
Throughout last week, I reflected on a conversation from Episode 11 of Fireplace Conversations, titled “The Loneliness of Leadership.”
I shared how, despite external success, every leader faces moments of isolation when decisions weigh heavily and the crowd isn’t carrying your burdens.
One listener reached out:
“I thought it was just me. Hearing that even accomplished leaders feel lonely was like finding a partner in the dark.”
That message reminded me of something essential: Leadership often appears to be walking alone at the top.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
You lead publicly, but you don’t have to lead in isolation.
Insider Strategy: Leadership Is Not a Solo Performance
Leadership can be a lonely experience, even at the highest levels of leadership.
Resilience alone isn’t enough.
Leaders need connection, support, and safe zones.
In this edition, we’ll explore how real leaders fight isolation with intention, not by bearing more, but by building better circles around them.
Strategy Framework: C.O.N.N.E.C.T.
Use this model to protect against leadership isolation:
C – Cultivate Safe Circles
Identify peers, mentors, or advisors with whom you can discuss openly, without a mask or an agenda.O – Own Your Vulnerability
Courage begins by naming the real challenges, rather than hiding them behind a polished façade.N – Normalise Check-Ins
Don’t let connection become reactive. Make regular check-ins a non-negotiable ritual for your leadership circle.N – Notice the Signs
With fatigue, apathy, and defensiveness, loneliness leaks out. Monitor your own emotional climate.E – Engage Others
Invite fresh perspectives. Your blind spots are often in the “quiet corners” of feedback you never asked for.C – Commit to Reciprocity
Support isn’t a one-way street. Lead by listening, without needing a solution every time.T – Tap into Diversity
The broader your leadership circle (encompassing different industries, cultures, and generations), the wider your insight.
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Ikechukwu’s Journal
A leader once told me:
“When you're at the top, you start to believe you should handle everything alone.”
But that mindset doesn’t build legacy. It builds loneliness.
Authentic leadership isn’t just about bearing torches but about lighting them in others, too.
What to Do This Week
Name one person who’ll get a real check-in (no performance review allowed).
Schedule a leadership conversation, not to solve anything, but to be heard.
Invite feedback from someone you don’t expect to give it. Diversity of views saves shared burdens.
If this edition resonates with you, forward it to another leader.
Better yet, please share it with your team and have the conversation together.
And don’t forget, next Tuesday, a new episode of Fireplace Conversations will be live at 8 AM.
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Ikechukwu Okoh
Author of the Leadership Pulse
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